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Non-Compliance & Rejection
A Letter from Andi
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In Retrospect

In retrospect, it is easy for me to see that the things that seemed insurmountable when we first encounter them become managable as time passes. The strength will come to you. It just does.

Andi is on the transplant list, but is not in "waiting" mode. She earned her elementary teaching certification and is now working in 2 elementary schools, having decided that the world needs teachers more than performers. Her stage experience will be helpful in the classroom.

She is on peritoneal dialysis, handling it very responsibly. We are very close now. Of course I have forgiven her (I made some pretty horrendous mistakes myself when I was young), and we speak very openly about our feelings now.

The waiting period is impossible to predict. They have complicated protocols to follow. Andi's blood type is rare, so first it must come from someone with that type, and then the antigen match has to be at least 3 of 6; the size must be right, and several other factors must be considered. But physically she is coping with the dialysis, diet and frequent complications: anemia, nausea, allergies, blood pressure, and phosphorus balance, and mentally she is feeling good about herself; she and her husband are doing great together, and she speaks of herself as being very lucky.

September 2, 2003

Andi has a full-time job teaching 3rd grade retainees (those who failed the FCAT exam) It's a hard job, but Andi is amazing! We are all so proud of her. And Aaron is a tremendous help to her, so giving and supportive.

January 31, 2004

Andi is becoming more and more comfortable with teaching. Her brother, Matt, who teaches K - 3 Educable Mentally Handicapped children, accompanied Andi and her class on a field trip as a chaperone. He told me he was quite impressed with her affection for and control of the students.

We are still waiting for the right kidney, but Andi is doing very well. All in all, we are very fortunate.

March 8, 2005

Andi is still on peritoneal dialysis. Her antibodies are so high from the rejection that it looks like the only way she could have a transplant is to go through plasmapheresis (centrifuging the antibodies out of the blood before a transplant). Aaron wants to donate his kidney to someone in a pool of donors that would hopefully contain one to match Andi.

Aaron has gone back to school, and Andi is still teaching, and doing a great job. We are best friends.

June 1, 2006

Andi has just completed her third year teaching at a "zone" school (one that is underperforming, so they have an extra hour a day of classes and they start the year a week early and end it a few days late. The teachers have many workshops and classes to take, but get paid better than those in regular schools.) She has done a spectacular job... really found what she does best, and the acting background helps a lot!

We see Andi and Aaron often, and we are best friends. Thinking back, I realize that we would not be so close if the rejection had not happened. They probably would have been living up north for the past several years. So I am very happy they are here.

July 10, 2007

Four years of teaching and, thank goodness, Andi is doing very well! Thanks to all who have written and asked about her.

April 25, 2008

We are all doing well!

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